Another dual episodes of drama serial Kaisa Hai Naseeban on aired yesterday. The drama has very artfully depicted sufferings of marital abuse and domestic violence bringing to the forefront reasons why we ought to keep a check and balance on our daughters once they’re married as well.
Ramsha Khan has brilliantly carried the role of a domestic violence victim who endures all the brutality of her in laws till her silence costs her the life of her own child and her ability to become a mother. Muneeb Butt as Ahmed and Uzma Gillani as Musarrat are also amazing. Farhan Malhi has done a convincing part as Waheed. The actor has a good screen presence and makes you want to see him more. A moving script, brilliantly penned down by Samina Ijaz and directed by Ahmed Bhatti, Kaisa Hai Naseeban is a winner indeed.
Waheed is still besides Mariam helping her out in her post trauma phase. It is Waheed who arranges an agent for her from the Pakistani embassy and the person after knowing all her sufferings helps to send her back to Pakistan! Well on the other side that shrewd Ahmed is shamelessly living at his Mamoo’s place after ruining his very daughter’s life. Ahmed has the audacity to conveniently face everyone and pretend all is well. Well his drama does not last long till Mariam finally reaches home surprising both her parents with her sudden arrival and ill condition.
Mariam cries her heart out in front of her parents and tells them the truth. She opens up about her marital abuse claiming how she has now lost the ability to conceive again. Mariam’s father gets furious on listening the heart wrenching story of his daughter, he throws Ahmed out of her house and when her sister calls her to inquire about her son, he replies that he has no relation with her anymore. Mariam is finally rescued from that abusive relationship but she has definitely lost a lot in her struggle. Had she been strong and brave before she could have saved herself from the disaster.
Mariam’s father health is deteriorating day by day and the reason doctor suggests is the negligence where they didn’t get their tests done. Well it was that same heartless Ahmed who deliberately ignored his Mamoo’s tests and he is responsible for bringing him to that stage. Mariam is now resolute that she is not going to keep any relation with Ahmed and his family and now she will live her life independently and is going to support her parents like a son.
Well on the other hand Ahmed’s mother and sister are living in a very miserable state. Sana is forced to look out for a job despite of her mother’s disapproval but she has no other choice. Ahmed has the same ugly self, he gets a job at a petrol pump by begging a man and the person hires him and is always very kind to him but he is not aware of all the game which is running in Ahmed’s head. Yes that fraud thankless man is thinking to steal the money from that petrol pump and to fly back to Malaysia! Mariam’s father is not supporting her idea of working and he is not allowing her for a job but in the end we see that Mariam’s father health condition gets worsen and he is hospitalized.
Rather interesting build up of events up till now, we’re eager to find out what happens next. However one point in the promo, that we saw, could drag the story. Affan, who is happily married to Farah, should not be shown interested in Mariam anymore. But things might get a bit edgy for everyone, now that Mariam is back home.
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I am worried that they have spent 20 episodes depicting Maryams abuse at the hands of her husband and inlaws and absolute failure by both Maryam and her own parents to keep in touch and reveal what's going. Even when she goes to visit her parents with Ahmed constantly guarding her, there is no way he can realistically stop her from alone time with her mom or sister etc. Are her parents really blind and deaf that they dont see or hear her pain in her voice or on her face? They dont find it odd that Ahmed is constantly lurking around? Because you marry off your daughter does not mean she stops being your daughter. All her father is worried a out is Maryam keeping his "maan" and only visit her parents in a happy mood. If you can't talk openly and honestly to your parents and trust they will protect you who can you rely on? Nobody. The parents are the most responsible and guilty. They are the kind of "family" who dont care what happens to their daughters after marriage and the reason why so many girls are living in abusive and violent marriages slaving away for their so called husbands and in laws. I am sick and tired with the constant misguided use of the word izzat. If you dont care for your daughters after marriage and dont stay in contact with them and keep forcing them to return to abusers then you have no izzat. They never contact Maryam but just hope she will call them. This gender disparity and boys being given more protocol has to stop. In all other cultures, muslim, Arab, Turkish, Kurdish, Iranian, European, American, Australian people marty but there families still keep in touch, visit and without longing for all permission by the husband. Other Muslim dont do this. We have inherited all the bad stuff from hindu culture. Only desi people insist on sending their daughter to live with inlaws. Always the daughters. Never the boys because that's apparently not manly. But keeping your wife to serve your parents, your siblings with no privacy or independence of her own in ypur parents home is manly. Ahmed is a misogynist which is sadly a common result if the gender inequality and erosion if womens basic rights which our culture fosters. This must stop. I would gave likes thus drama more if they had devoted 20 episodes to showing Maryam fighting her way out of that sick family and seeking help and getting back to her parents and ger parents supporting her all the way. Now that would be a game changer and invite girls to not accept this abuse but leave. That's why divorced happen. Would a mam accept being treated like this? Beaten, raped (yes marital rape exists), being constantly humiliated, threatened, have his salary taken by his wife and inlaws, have his child killed before birth and made infertile due to the beatings? No. So why do women. Allah granted your rights to live without oppression. Oppression for any muslim is haram. Yet our women accept every type of bloody abuse. Why because they are weak and have no way put. What's the point of going to school if you dont know your basic rights? What is the difference between Maryam and a completely illiterate girl? None. This is setting bad role models for women. The dramas are fostering the same bad stereotypes and indoctrinating people to think this is ok. Women are almost never portrayed as strong, self sufficient or independent .go getters. To hell with this "what will people at". People talk. Get over it. I fear they wil show Maryam returning to Ahmed at her parents insistence. Sisters, it is very important hat you get educated and are financially independent so that if abuse or injustice happens to you, you can leave and rely on yourself and Allah. That's why Allah gave you rights. Rights you dont know or are willing to use. Read your nikah nama through in advance and never let anybody cross out any section. This is your contract and your rights. Given to you by law for ypur own protection. If you dont want to work or do want to work, or continue your studies then put that down. Learn from other Muslims and abandon the backward culture of false izzat and submission. You only submit to Allah. If your husband mistreats you leave. Don't wait for him to repeat. Like when Ahmed in front Maryams parents said "it was a mistake". Ghalti? Umm no it is a mistake when it happens once. Repetition is called a habit. People who respect hejr wives never hit thrm once. Why doesn't Ahmed pick somebody his own size to beat. Because he is a coward who likes to hit women. Apparently hats manly. The fact that he makes her work and provide for the family, HIS family, and he never worked a single day in his life, when Allah Hamas called men the providers and maintainers, is not unmanly? Shame. He can't in any way call himself a man. Maryam is at fault for enabling him. Why stay safe when you know what to expect? She should have and could have sought help from her colleague, a doctor, the police or anybody to guide her to her embassy and gotten on a plane back. She could have borrowed somebodys phone nd called home and told she was in danger and needs to return. She had plenty of opportunities. She failed herself and her unborn child. These are wrong messages to send to people and we have seen the mazloom bechari damsel thousands of times. Time to change the roles of women. Otherwise nothing in society will change. Misogyny will remain accepts part of culture and women will continue to suffer. 21 episodes wasted on a predictable story. Same recipe as always. Ahmed deserves to rot in jail for the rest of his life. There he will be forced to work. When he beats somebody they will beat him back. But i have given up hoping our dramas to change the recipe. It is sad.our women ne strong role models who dont accept such abuse from day one. Women who know and stand up for their rights. Women who actually use their education to further themselves and not be dependent on any man. Only Allah. Our culture (deeply patriacrch), ulema (all men ha!), parents/families (voluntarily submissive in front of society) and media (copies society) are making sure things dont change. They must change. Out 205 million half are female. We can't keep doing this. It's haram and disrespectful. Maryam could have survived on her own. She could ave changed the bank details on her work contract. She could have gone to a woman's shelter. Sought divorce. But no.. Hopeless. If she goes back to Ahmed then i have no sympathy for her. You must help yourself as much as you can. Allah will not create a miracle. Allah gave your rights. Your choice to use them. Silence wont help.