Technology

Breaking: Twitter gets a new CEO!

Bess Kalb has been appointed as new Twitter CEO

Twitter gets a new CEO on Wednesday!

And in the latest development, Bess Kalb has been appointed as the new Twitter CEO.

Earlier in the day, Elon Musk said he will step down as Twitter’s CEO in response to a poll he launched — just as soon as he finds someone “foolish enough to take the job.”

He plans to keep control of the software and servers teams, key areas that direct product decisions.

Breaking the news to the microblogging site users in a series of tweets, Bess Kalb said, “Can finally announce: I am humbled, honoured, and frankly still in shock to be the new CEO of @twitter. Though we haven’t always seen eye to eye (Edgelord memes! Verification fiasco! The “sink” joke being the full extent of his business plan!) I am thrilled @elonmusk took a chance.”

Bess Kalb, an American Emmy Award-nominated writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live! television show and journalist with The New Yorker magazine went on to say:

“Whether he has failed to rescue people from a cave and then called the actual rescuer a paedophile, sent CPAP machines to hospitals instead of direly needed ventilators, or spent $44 billion to ruin his reputation and legacy,
@elonmusk has always been at the forefront of.
“He is so much more than the apartheid profiteer heir of an emerald mine owner who openly hates him, he is a man whose current only friend is Jared Kushner. I know that with his level of know-how and unimpeachable foresight, @elonmusk will definitely go to Mars in his lifetime.”

 

Responding to online criticism, Kalb stepped forward to defend Elon Musk and said, “Though he can only conceive children in a laboratory setting no matter how many women he impregnates and his facelifts are melting, I will show up for @twitter the way he shows up year after year for the Met Gala despite turning his nose up at ‘Media Elites’ when they mock him.”

“I am also finally able to disclose, Elon made over $68,000 from his flagship innovation Twitter Blue! We at @twitter thank him for that smart and lucrative idea and wish him the best in his future projects. We know they will be great and only explode a handful of people,” she added.

 

 

 

Saman Siddiqui

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