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Captaincy decisions at Halwa Pori Stall

Mondays are the worst, absolute worst. It’s not the day actually. Rather, it is the vicious capitalist cycle which forces us to do things we undeniably hate doing. Nevertheless, it is what is. So, we find little ways to make things easier. At my work place, we have this ritual of doing a proper ‘Nashta’ on Mondays when possible. It eases the trauma a bit.

Somehow, I ended up at the Halwa Poori shop earlier today.  It was around 11am on a Monday, so there weren’t too many customers around. Its Karachi, people work. So there were two people in the waiting line. The guy ahead of me had ordered 30 pooris. I was there for the long haul. Cricketing discussion started soon between the shop owner and the customer. I am quite an introvert, I don’t engage with people except when necessary. Especially because facts as we have seen across the world, have become irrelevant. But I was pulled in into this one. This is how it went.

Person: Yar dekha Malik ne kaisa jhetwaya kal?

Shop keeper: Han Rizwan ne kaisa shot mara akar.

P: Sub attacking captaincy ke bat hoti hai, Sarfraz defensive hai tabi hara.

This brought a grin on my face. The individual clearly took offense at it.

P: Bhai ap haaash rahey hy?

Me: Hasana mana hai dost?

P: Nai yar ap batien kal jheta ya nahe.

Me: Bhai mai cricket zayda follow nahe krta.

P: Bhai liken kal jhetwa dia na Malik ne.

Me: Acha

At this point, the shop owner had lost interest and now he focused on doing his job (unlike me). But the Shoaib Malik fan continued…

P: Meray mamu jantay hai Malik ko, goan ek he hai, bohat acha sada larka hai, goaror nahe karta.

Me: Acha

P: Bhai to WC mai kisko kaptan hona cahieye, jisne jhetwaya ya harnay wala Sarfraz.

Me: Bhai series kon jhet raha hai?

P: 2-2 chal rahey.

Me: To dono match Sarfraz ne harwaey or dono Malik ne jhetwaey

P: Bhai ap meray bat samjh he nahe rahey.                                

Halwa poori guy hands over my food in an environment destroying bag to me…

P: Bhai bat to pori kr k jaien.

Me: Bhai apkay mamu ne keh dia kafi hai, mujhy office wapis jana hai.

Had I stayed a bit longer, things could have gotten ugly. People averse to facts aren’t usually fans of sarcasm. Shoiab Malik’s captaincy tenure back in the day was disastrous. Shoaib Malik’s success as captain has been with Sialkot Stallions, where he was the undisputed king. He admitted throwing away a game during the National T20 (2005 if my memory serves me right) because he was unhappy with how rules were being implemented in the tournament.  As Pakistan captain, the dressing room became so toxic that eventually, Salman Butt was made captain. There is no need to go into how that went.  Malik’s captaincy of Karachi Kings ended up in mid tournament resignation. While, Multan Sultans failed to make it to the 2nd stage of the tournament last time around.

Under Sarfraz Pakistan have improved tremendously. Aside of a couple of series, there has been upward curve in white ball cricket. You can prove it with numbers, talent introduction and player development.

But those are facts, irrelevant facts. Because my Mamu said so.


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